


The only one you can never lie to... is yourself.

by SoraHinari



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Heavy Angst, Lies, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Oma Kokichi-centric, Saihara Shuichi (mentioned) - Freeform, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23711353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoraHinari/pseuds/SoraHinari
Summary: Kokichi Oma has been lying all his life, as far as he can remember... Or is that a lie too? What if he didn't lie? Was everything he said true? Kokichi didn't know anymore, his mouth opened and closed based on instinct by now, but no matter what he would say to others there was one person, just one person who would never believe his lies... Such tough luck, for that one person his Kokichi Oma himself.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	The only one you can never lie to... is yourself.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up of two things, I haven't played V3 sadly I've only watched playthroughs of it and I am not a native English speaker so mistakes might ensue. Besides that I really wanted to write about Kokichi, he really grew as one of my favourites if not my favourite character! But I wanted to write a more... Central around his self doubt and lies kind of fic. I hope you enjoy it!

It was fine wasn't it? Everything was just a lie anyways!

He cared about them, ha... What a joke... What is there to care about in people that cannot even see a lie when they encounter one... Except one.   
Except one of them.   
Except that damned detective!  
That damned Shuichi Saihara!

Why was that detective always up in his business?! At first it was fun! Yes in the first trials it was great! It was so entertaining to see him squirm and try to find an answer! Seeing him fighting so hopelessly to uncover the truth as the contestants fell one by one and the trials kept rolling... Seeing those scared, pale, colour drained expressions on his face that Kokichi loved so much and made him smile! He adored those!...  
He did...  
He did!  
Didn't he...?  
Didn't he like how Saihara looked sick the first time murder was talked about? Or how he looked as white as a free pigeon symbolizing peace in such a twisted game they were all in? Of course he did!... Right? That worried look, that scared look... Every expression of Saihara brought him bliss... Except maybe one... It was a look Kokichi wasn't used to all that often... or maybe he was in the past... He couldn't remember. A look of utter disappointment. 

So Saihara, the oh so great detective didn't like his lies! So what?! He didn't care! He didn't! He... Truly... Didn't! Or at least that is what Ouma tried to tell himself as his back slid down the white tiled bathroom wall. He allowed his body to curl up against the wall, knees up to his chest, one arm hugging them while the other grabbed a fistful of purple hair. Disappointment... Why would Saihara be disappointed in him! He should have been proud for his lies! They were so good after all! It was not his fault that everyone else was stupid to not understand his facade... Right? 

Lying is normal!  
Right?

He doesn't care for this stupid game, he just wants to live!   
To win!  
To have fun!  
To laugh at others while they are in misery, pain and agony!  
Right?

Moreover he doesn't care for those idiots!  
Those idiots who kept falling one after the other!  
Even Saihara can go die and he wouldn't care!  
Everyone could fall into a pit of vipers and rot there and he wouldn't care!   
He would laugh!  
He would rejoice!  
He would win!  
That is what he wants!  
Right...?

He doesn't care about Saihara... or Kaito... or Miu... or anyone!  
He cares about himself!  
He never did care about anyone else!  
Right...?

Kokichi couldn't remember... His two hands finding themselves gripping tightly in his purple locks, his head now slightly hovering from the wall.

"Of course you don't care! Your care is a lie! Your friends are a lie! Everything you say is a lie!" Kokichi screamed to himself, banging his head to the wall with every little pause in his sentences. He could feel tears run through his face before his hands clawed deep into his forearms. "Even... All this is a lie... No matter what I say... I will be lying... Isn't that right?" he asked himself in complete silence as his hands kept applying pressure in his forearms. "To me or them... One statement will be false for one and true for the other depending on the perspective... I am an untrustworthy liar, nothing more, nothing less... I wonder... Does he think of me that way too?" he asked himself with a little creepy smile stretching his lips as Kokichi pulled himself on his feet.

His purple eyes focus now on his figure in the bathroom's mirror. Tears drenching his cheeks, how pitiful! 'You are not like this Oma! You are uncaring! Cold hearted! You are... A liar... A big liar... Look at you... lying even to yourself...' he thought as he formed a fist with his right hand. 'Lying to yourself that you don't care... If you don't... Then why does it hurt?! Why does it hurt when they judge you dammit?!' in the course of his thoughts his fist landed on the glass. The crashing sound echoing in all the bathroom, thankfully it was only for his ears to hear. 

Oma looked at his now trembling hand, it was bloody and had glass pieces sticking out of it... That alone made him smile, chuckle and end up in a sick laughter... So pitiful. Getting upset at his own lies to the point of hurting himself... And yet somewhere deep inside Oma knew he deserved it... He deserved all the pain he was getting, all the disapproving and distrusting stares and glares. The door of the school's bathroom emitted a sound at that moment, two knocks and a voice from the other side.

"Kokichi... Are you alright? You have been in there for a long time I just came to check up on you..." Saihara said in a gentle tone.

"Of course I am!" Kokichi chimed from the inside.  
'Of course I am not!' he thought.

"I will be with you in a second Saihara-chan!" he exclaimed and wrapped his bloody hand, after pulling the pieces out, in a white bandage he had in his pocket... Why did he even had that? He didn't remember but he was used to the feeling of the white fabric tight around his hand. Stepping out of the bathroom he opened his arms with a grin. "Missed me so much that you came to my rescue! Such a heroic thing to do Saihara-chan!"

A small gasp was audible from the detective's lips as he pointed to his hand.

"Kokichi what the hell happened to your hand?!" Shuichi asked shocked, almost concerned even.

"Oh nothing Saihara-chan! As I was getting ready to wash my hands I accidentally burnt it with water! So clumsy I know! So I tied it with a bandage just to be sure I won't hurt it even further! But now let's go! I don't want to keep anyone waiting!" the shorter male could spot worry in Saihara's eyes.

"Oh don't worry for lil'ol me Saihara-chan! It is nothing!" Kokichi said.  
'Please... Please worry about me... Please show me you care Shuichi... It hurts... It hurts so much Shuichi...' Kokichi thought.

But as per usual... The look he received was one of doubt before the detective started marching to where everyone else was.   
Oma just followed... Everything was normal.   
Everything was like it was supposed to be!  
Him, Kokichi Oma, the malice and the detective in front of his eyes, Shuichi Saihara, the justice.  
Everything was fine... Or at least that was what Oma said to himself.  
And of course, that, along with everything else, was too a lie.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> Welcome to the end of this fanfic! I am very glad you reached this point.  
> A big thank you for reading my work from me to you! I hope you liked it!


End file.
